Tuesday, March 30, 2010

I love you all

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My english collection of pickup lines

1. Are my undies showing? [“No.”] “Would you like them to?”
2. Are you busy tonight at 3:00 A.M.?
3. As she’s leaving….Hey aren’t you forgetting something? She: What? Me!
4. As you walk by, turn around and say: Excuse me, did you just touch my ass? No. Damn!
5. At the Laundromat, “How much bleach should I put in with my good suit?”
6. Can I borrow a quarter? [“What for?”] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. OR: I want to call your mother and thank her.
7. Congratulations! You’ve been voted “Most Beautiful Girl In This Room” and the grand prize is a night with me!
8. Damn, I thought “very-fine” only came in a bottle!
9. Did you know that there are 265 bones inside of your body? {Wait for answer} “Yeah, and I could show you how to get one more?”
10. Didn’t I used to always pull on your ponytail in grammar school?
11. Do you believe in helping the homeless? [If yes] Take me home with you.
12. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
13. Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
14. Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) ‘Cause I could see myself in your pants.
15. Do you have any Irish in you? (if no…) Would you like some? (if yes…) Want some more?
16. Do you have rubbers at your house or should I pull out?
17. Do you have the time? [Gives the time] No, the time to write down my number?
18. Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? [No!] Do you want to do lunch?
19. Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.
20. Do you like music? (Yes) Good, I’ve got a great stereo system at home!
21. Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?
22. Does your boyfriend know where you are?
23. Excuse me, do you believe in one night stands?
24. Excuse me, do you think you might possibly have a mutual friend who could introduce us.
25. Excuse me, I am about to go home to masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.
26. Excuse me, I’m looking for a friend…do you want to be my friend?
27. For a fat chick, you sure have small tits.
28. Gee, for a fat girl you sure don’t sweat much.
29. Go up to a girl, ask her: “Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?” She says no. Then wink.
30. Have you heard the latest piece of medical knowledge saying that Sex is a real killer? Do you want to die happy?
31. Hey babe, how about a pizza and a fuck? (after she slaps you or leaves) HEY! What’s wrong, don’t you like pizza?
32. Hi there! Do you want to see something really swell?
33. Hi!
34. Hi, are you here to meet a nice man or will I do?
35. Hi, how are you?
36. Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.
37. Hi, I’m a fashion photographer. Would you like to be in my next photo shoot?
38. Hi, I’ve been undressing you with my eyes all night long, and think it’s time to see if I’m right.
39. Hi, my name is {name}, how do you like me so far?
40. Hi, my name’s Dan. You might want to remember it now, because you’ll be screaming it later!
41. Hi. You’ll do.
42. Hold out two fingers and say: “Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?” (I don’t know.) “Cause they’re mine sweetheart.”
43. How do you like your eggs cooked? [Why?] Well I just wanted know what to make for you in the morning!
44. I don’t know what you think of me, but I hope it’s X-rated.
45. I had sex with someone last night. Was that you?
46. I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
47. I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away!
48. I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are!!
49. I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?
50. I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.
51. I seemed to have lost my way, would you mind taking me with you.
52. I was going to tell you a joke that’ll make your tits fall off. But it looks like somebody beat me to it.
53. I was just curious? Are you as good as all the guys say you are?
54. I’d like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.
55. If a women asks, “Excuse me, do you have the time?” You should answer: “Yeah! Do you have the energy?”
56. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.
57. If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
58. If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
59. If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
60. I’m new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
61. I’m new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
62. I’m not trying to pressure you. I don’t want to have sex without mutual consent; oh and by the way, you have my consent.
63. I’m sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start.
64. I’m the kind of man who deserves to have women I don’t deserve.
65. Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
66. Is you father a lumberjack [No, why?] Because when ever I look at you, I get wood in my pants.
67. I’ve been slightly depressed ever since my vasectomy.
68. I’ve had quite a bit to drink, and you’re beginning to look pretty good.
69. I’ve just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot.
70. Let’s have breakfast together tomorrow; shall I call you or nudge you?
71. Lick your finger and touch the person, touch yourself with it and say, “Let’s you and me get out of these wet clothes.”
72. May I flirt with you?
73. My name’s [your name]. That’s so you know what to scream.
74. Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?
75. Oh my sweet darling! For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.
76. Overheard in our computer lab: Just because your computers are incompatible, doesn’t mean we are.
77. Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?
78. Say, did we go to different schools together?
79. Shall I wait for you in my car or will the closet suffice?
80. Sorry to bother you, but I had to find out what kind of woman would go out dressed like that.
81. Take a screw with you and put it in your pocket. Then, when a girl comes up to you, offer her the screw and say, “Wanna screw?”
82. That shirt’s very becoming on you. If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
83. The word of the day is “legs.” Let’s go back to my place and spread the word.
84. There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can’t take them off you.
85. Use index finger to call someone over then say, “I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.”
86. Wait until the end of the evening when everything is real hazy and alcohol soaked, walk up to someone you’ve never met and say, “Come on, we’re leaving.” (The key is to act like you know them.)
87. Was you father an alien? Because there’s nothing else like you on earth!
88. Were you just smiling at me from across the room, or do I have my contacts in wrong?
89. What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper
90. What’s a nice girl like you doing talking to a loser like me?
91. Why don’t you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
92. Would you like to dance or should I go fuck myself again?
93. You are the only reason why I came in here alone.
94. You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up for certain, well, shortages? Well, I don’t even own a car.
95. You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You’re making the other women look really bad.
96. You must be from Pearl Harbor, ‘cause baby, you’re the bomb.
97. You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I’M cute.
98. You’re so hot you would make the devil sweat.
99. You’re ugly but you intrigue me.

My 100 and Two Pinoy Pickup Lines

1. Pinaglihi ka ba sa keyboard? type kasi kita eh
2. Aanhin pa ang gravity? kung lagi akong nahuhulog sa’yo.
3. Miss! langit na ba to? para ka kasing anghel.
4. Kung bola ka at ako ang player, masho-shoot ba kita? hindi! kasi lagi kitang namimiss
5. Surgeon ka ba? kasi ikaw lang ang nakapagbukas ng puso ko.
6. Miss may-ari ba ng Chocnut factory ang tatay mo? ang tamis kasi ng mga ngiti mo.
7. May lason bang mga mata mo? nakakamatay kasi ang titig mo.
8. Hindi tayo tao. bagay tayo! bagay!
9. Doktor ka ba? kasi kaw lang ang makakagamot ng sugat sa puso ko.
10. Electric Fan ka ba? kasi lagi umiikot ka sa isip ko.
11. Alam mo ba scientist ako?.kasi ikaw ang LAB ko.
12. Ang galing muh cguro sa puzzles,kc umaga pa lang nabuo mo na araw ko.
13. I’m a bee..can u be my honey?
14. May license ka ba? co’z ur driving me crazy.
15. Alarm clock ka ba? ginising mo kasi ang natutulog kong puso.
16. Tok! tok! tok! Pwede ba akong pumasok sa buhay mo?
17. Redhorse ka ba? ang lakas kasi ng tama ko sayo eh
18. Alam mo bang exam ako? kaya sagutin mo na ko
19. Uy! papicture naman tayo oh? para madevelop tayo sa isa’t isa.
20. Para kang yosi, ang hirap mo alisin sa buhay ko.
21. Kailangan mo ba ng tutor? tuturuan kitang mahalin ako.
22. Magaling ka ba sa math? ikaw kasi ang sagot sa mga equation ng buhay ko.
23. Para kang Centrum. you make my life complete
24. Pulis ba tatay mo? kasi nahuli mo ang puso ko.
25. Geometry ba ang favorite subject moh?,kasi kahit anong angle,ang cute moh.
26. Ano ang height moh?,pano ka nagkasya sa puso ko?
27. Bangin ka ba? nahuhulog kasi ako sau.
28. Pagod ka na ba? kanina ka pa kasi tumatakbo sa isip ko.
29. Kuto ka ba? Di kasi kita maalis sa ulo ko eh.
30. Pustiso ka ba? Kasi, I can’t smile w/o you.
31. Utot ka ba? Tahimik ka kase pero, ang lakas ng dating.
32. May mapa k ba? Naliligaw kasi ako sa mga mata mo.
33. Nido ka ba? Because you’re my #1.
34. Rexona ka ba? Because you won’t let me down.
35. SM ka ba? Because you got it all for me.
36. Library Card ka ba? Because I’m checking you out.
37. Me lisensya ba yung face mo? Deadly weapon kasi, eh.
38. Daya mo. No one has a right to be as cute as you are
39. Wag ka ngang ngumiti. Nai-inlab lang ako sayo eh
40. Minamalat na naman ang puso ko. Paano kasi, laging sinisigaw ang pangalan mo.
41. Nissin CUP noodles ka ba? Wala ka kasing CUPares eh! :))
42. Kuya, nasaksak ka ba? Tinadtad ka kasi ng kagwapuhan eh! :))
43. Ate, kailangan mo ba ng balde? Nag-uumapaw kasi kgndahan mo eh :))
44. Miss, switch ka ba? Kasi you turn me ON. x)
45. Ibenta niyo na lang bahay niyo, libre ka naman tumira sa puso ko.
46. Ibibili kita ng salbabida.. kasi malulunod ka sa pagmamahal ko…
47. Magaling kba sa Algebra? I want you to substitute my X eh!
48. Nung hiniwalayan mo ko, daig ko pa ang na traffic sa edsa… I can’t move on…
49. Masasabi mo bang BOBO ako kung IKAW lang LAMAN ng UTAK ko?
50. I forgot your name can i call you mine?
51. Is your name Summer? Cause you`re soo HOT
52. Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.
53. I may not be Fred Flintstone but I can sure make your bed ROCK!
54. Can i take your picture ? coz i want to show Santa exactly what i want for christmas !
55. May kilala ka bang gumagawa ng relo? may sira ata relo ko.. pag ikaw kasi kasama ko, humihinto ang oras ko..
56. You’re like a yosi vendor… you give me HOPE & MORE
57. Para kang holdaper, ibibigay ko lahat, wak mo lang ako sasaktan ..
58. Pagnamatay ako iiyak ka ba?.. Ngayon pa lang kasi patay na patay na ko sayo..
59. miss mangnanakaw b mga magulang mu, dahil ninakaw nila ang mga bitwin at inilagay sa iyong mga mata..
60. Alam mo! May kamukha ka!.. Next Girlfriend ko!! :D
61. ikaw ang starter na nagpailaw sa na punder kong damdamin
62. Teleserye ka ba? Ang sarap mo kasing subaybayan eh!
63. Para kng TABLE OF CONTENTS. Dahil ikaw ang topic ng bawat pahina ng buhay ko.
64. ei mag-empake ka na. punta tayo sa home for the aged. kasi, i want to grow old with you eh!
65. Alam mo bang para akong oatmeal? kasi im good for your heart.
66. Miss marijuana ka ba? ang lakas kasi ng tama ko pag nakikita ka.
67. I hate to say this but… You are like my underwear.. coz i can’t last a day without you!!
68. para kang ulan at lupa ako.. kahit anong gawin mo, mahuhulog ka sa akin sa ayaw at sa gusto mo :p
69. alien kba? kse feeling ko out of this world na tong utak ko kakaisip ko sau
70. flashlight kba? anliwanag kse buhay cu cmula nung nakila2 kta
71. khet pang habang buhay ma sintensya tatanggapin ko, bsta mkulong lang aq dyan sa puso mu
72. alam mo bang parang 7-11 ang puso ko? kasi 24 oras bukas para sayo :)
73. I really luv d alphabet, cuz theres U and I.
74. my mirror b ang puso mo? cuz i see myself in it.
75. police b ako? ikw kse ang most wanted ko eh.
76. limang piso kba? ksi sakto ka sa puso ko.
77. i luv reading the menu. cuz it has Me ‘n U.
78. pokemon kba? ksi i CHOOSE u!.
79. kung posporo k at posporo ako, eh di match tyu.
80. kung didiretsuhin ko b 2, diretso b ko s puso mo?
81. ice ka? crush kta e.
82. uy malala n ung sakit ko s puso, dlwa nlng options ko pra gumling. Either ICU or U C me.
83. my free time kba? samahan mo nmn ako sa psychiatrist. dalhin ko raw kinababaliwan ko.
84. Taga FEU kaba ? kasi TAMARAW mahalin kita ee .
85. Mahilig kaba Kumain ng Pancit Canton ? Kasi LUCKY ME sayo ee !!
86. Pwede ba kitang Ma ABOT ? Ikaw kc ang pangarap ko .
87. Nakakatakot di ba ang multo? Pero mas nakakatakot kapag nawala ka sa buhay ko.
88. Alam mo Dalawang Beses lng kitang gustong makasama…. yun ung NOW and Forever
89. Miss me lahi ka bang kastila? kc nasakop mo n yta puso ko
90. Apoy ka ba?…kc “alab” you
91. Buti pa ang Weather me PAGASA…tayo kaya?
92. tatakbo ka ba sa eleksyon? boto kc magulang ko sayo..
93. Presidential Election ka ba? mandaraya ako makuha ka lng
94. taga UST ka ba?cause USTill in my heart
95. san mo ba gustong ikasal? kc ako gusto ko sa tabi mo..
96. Naniniwala ka ba sa love at first sight? O gusto mong dumaan ulit ako?
97. Excuse me, are you a dictionary? Because you give meaning to my life.
98. Ikaw ba may-ari ng Crayola? Ikaw kasi nagbibigay ng kulay sa buhay ko.
99. Exam ka ba? Gustong gusto na kasi kitang i-take home eh!
100. May butas ba puso mo? Kasi natrap na ako sa loob, can’t find my way out!
101. KUNG AKOY MAG TITINDA LAHAT NG PANINDA KO E BE BENTA KO NG MURA SA LAHAT NG TAO LALO NA SA BABAE. PERO MALIBAN LANG SAU! ALAM MO KUNG BAKIT?? KASI SAYO LANG AKO MAG MAMAHAL!
102. ito idea para makuha mo ang n# ng girl na d mo kilala.. MISS FVOR NAMAN OH MARUNONG KABANG MAG AYOS NG CELLPHONE PAKI CHECK NAMAN OH SIRA YATA CELLPHONE KO WALA KASI YONG NUMBER MO